My best friend called me easy once. As a young woman who considers herself both strong and independent, my immediate response was anger. Coming from someone who is supposed to support me, it was really shocking that that’s how he perceived me to be. However, after spending more time talking, I realized what he truly meant by that powerful word.
The term was not necessarily referencing a physical vulnerability but an emotional one.
We’re both easy. We meet people, we connect, we feel. We’re easy to love, to be loved. It’s simple to take care, to take advantage of us. To care-in-full is not careful, it is as effortless as it is catastrophic.
Without realizing it, the goofy guy I worked out with freshman year, the only person who could yell at me and make me laugh in the same sentence became my person.
My person doesn’t like to see me get hurt or make the same mistakes, but I do. And every time that I do, he’s consistently been the guy who is there to pick up the pieces even after anticipating the destruction. I don’t intentionally disregard what he says. I listen. I am not naive, I am a hopeless romantic. I see the good in others but people hurt people and I am just a person.
This year is about being honest with my intentions and expectations. This year is about being a tease for the sake of reestablishing my self-worth. To see all of me is to experience every little thing that makes me, me. This does not just apply to relationships but to friendships. I do not want to be taken advantage for my body nor my time. I can’t give my all to anyone or anything without reciprocation because I need her. I’m allowed to be selfish and to communicate my self-interests aloud.
So, maybe I am easy. Eager At Saying Yes because It’s fun to meet new people and try new things. But things are never quite as simple as they seem, and I am still learning how to let go and say no to unhealthy habits. I am hopeful that this year will consist of growth and mental prosperity. I would like to encourage all of my readers to join me in a clean slate.