A long distance relationship is a difficult thing to manage. Not seeing your significant other for long periods of time takes a huge toll on your emotions and feelings. I truly believe that if you can make it through long distance, you can make it through anything. The hard part is actually making it through. A long distance relationship is not always rainbows and butterflies.
My advice would be if you really want to make it work, trust is key. If you don’t have faith in your relationship, you don’t have a relationship. The only thing you have in a long distance relationship is communication. Your phone becomes your boyfriend. Your conversations cannot get dull and everything must remain exciting and new. If you stick to the same routine you begin to lose interest and have less faith in sticking to it.
Mine failed because well, it just wasn’t meant to be. Things get sticky when you don’t have enough time to see each other. In a relationship, contact is needed. Physical, emotional and mental contact is necessary. There is really no point in a relationship lacking a connection.
The number one thing to be sure of when taking on a long distance commitment is maintaining YOU. In my relationship, I felt like I lost track of who I was, and what I used to do and used to love. Hanging out with my friends became a chore rather than something I wanted to do. I avoided going out in fear of other men. I was afraid to miss a chance to Skype or call him. I spent every second on my phone texting him. My face was so buried in my phone that I missed everything that was happening right in front of my face.
I had so many exciting things happen to me, first semester. I brought home my rush crush on Bid Day to my sorority, I went on a retreat with my sisters, I became Editor of an online magazine, through my school, and I became a Dating blogger for the one and only Vidette. Every one of those memories and accomplishments were tarnished by a silly argument I had with my boyfriend. I will always remember trying not to cry about the fight I had with my boyfriend through a text conversation while I watched my future little sister walk across the stage holding up my sorority letters. The two things should have never been related. I caught myself realizing that my college memories shouldn’t be about the texting fights or the sweet Skype conversations and 3 am phone calls with my man. It should be about finding YOU. It should be about finding your future bridesmaids. Honestly…you can’t have a wedding without bridesmaids.
Long distance makes your relationship instantly ten times more serious than you ever thought it could be. If that’s what you are looking for then I say more power to you. If you are not looking for anything serious stay far away from long distance boys. Before you take that leap of faith into long distance, make sure that you are ready for every minute of you life to revolve around technology. We already live in a generation that has grown suction cups onto our fingers making it impossible to let go of our phones.
1) Don’t forget about your girls; friends always come first
2) Don’t be afraid to leave the house, you shouldn’t be glued to the computer
3) Don’t let anyone tell you what to do, you are your own person and shouldn’t take orders from anyone
4) See each other often but don’t sacrifice things for each other. Don’t let him turn down a good opportunity to see you, and don’t do the same for him. If you want to study abroad, GO. If you want that summer internship that is farther away from him than you usually are, DO IT.
5) Keep it fresh. The same ole’ “How was your day?” is useless. I would get so frustrated I finally replied with “THE SAME DAMN THING I DID YESTERDAY.” That only gets you in more trouble so don’t try it…)
6) Designate a time to talk and a time to do normal people things. You shouldn’t be waiting by the phone on a Saturday night waiting for a phone call or a Skype date. That isn’t fair to either of you.
Balancing everything equally is the only thing that can save you in a long distance relationship. If any aspect of your life is off balance it can make you feel like you are walking on thin ice in the middle of the ocean.