I wrote this in the middle of a large coin Laundromat. The only sounds are from the washers’ repeated mechanical squeaks, the woman on television talking about “Ashley Furniture’s” new sale and my younger brother singing a Kendrick Lamar song. It is quite funny to me, thinking about the difference between me a few years ago and me now. I went downtown this weekend and I must say that it was a bit of an experience.
The snow fell as well as the temperature while hundreds of people zoomed in and out of bars. I heard a guy yelling at the top of his lungs, then there was two young men conversing with a young women. The one young man looked bewildered and I could not help but laugh as I stood in the cold waiting for a ride. I used to love jumping around and drinking incredible amounts, but now something has changed. I have changed.
It is strange because it was never a willed change. You live your life, move on and when you come back to something you loved you find it changed. Much like visiting your grandmother’s house after being away for years and forgetting how small it was. This is what downtown was like for me. Smaller. Lesser than I remembered. I was with a friend and he was looking to meet someone that night but I could not help but be introspective
I thought, is this me? Is this the way it is now?
It topped the night when at Fat Jack’s I saw a couple that were easily into their 50s. It was sobering to say the least. Pun very much intended.
I could not help but lament that I garnered no such satisfaction anymore but I did have perspective. Perspective that lead me to a new way of thinking about what it means to meet someone.