Friendship is a funny thing; especially when you have a relatively new friend. As I get older, I start to notice that I have higher standards for friends. I think at some point we want sheer volume in regards to having friends. We want 1,000 or more friends on Facebook or other social media services. We want to know that we are valuable by the number of people that find us valuable but I now realize that this is not the case. This cannot be the case.
We mature and we grow to our own mold. We lean towards what we think is right in being a human, like a flower grows towards the direction of the sun for photosynthesis. We need to follow our own path. This usually means that the 1,000 plus “friends” you have begin to fall to the wayside. When you look at the people in your current circle, you take a look at who they truly are. The façade of the new and exciting fades and you see the real person. This is not always a good thing.
When our true selves are shown, it can strain a friendship. It tests limits and boundaries that were permeable before. Now, you see this new person, whom you thought you knew, and they are beginning to be someone you do not like. When this happens, what do you do?
What can you do?
I think of friends and friendships like these as rubberbands. They stretch and then go back to their original place. Sometimes they stretch so far that they snap back hard. It stings for a while but then it goes away. Finally, there is a point when the rubberband breaks and you are left with something that is unable to be fixed.
These passive aggressive woes that usually find their way into rubberband friendships are taxing. If I could say anything about it, I would say to just be honest. The friends I have had for years have been ones that I told everything to. The good and the band and they have reciprocated. It lasts because of that compromise and honesty.
As you get older, your tolerance for rubberband friendships that snap begin to drop.
What do you do with a broken rubberband?