Here’s to the former high school athletes as you attempt to relive the glory days, to you fifth-year seniors as you put your heart and soul into one last championship run and I haven’t forgotten about you sophomores who misplaced the sign-up sheet on the last day of registration.

From the thin to the beer-bellied, the self-motivated to the ones that do it because their girlfriends make them, we are one.

We are Illinois State Intramurals.

As the winter and spring intramural sports seasons draw closer and the new rec center prepares to open its doors, it’s imperative that we examine the appeal of something seemingly so trivial.         

The pursuit of intramural greatness and the corresponding satisfaction that comes along with it just doesn’t do it for everyone.

That leaves the question, is it really worth it? The blood, sweat and tears? The floor burns, twisted ankles and swollen knees?  

If this were a conversation between Holmes and Watson, the explanation would indeed be elementary.

The answer is yes, and a resounding 100 percent yes at that.

The first reason intramural sports are worth participating in are the team names. The team names alone would keep me coming back to the game. Where else can you find gems like “Jamaican Me Crazy,” “We Pass like Healthcare Reform” or “We let Taylor Swift Finish?” The possibilities are limitless and inside jokes are fair game and encouraged.

The second reason almost goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. You receive a hot-off-the-presses championship T-shirt if you win. Are you kidding me? If I win the whole thing not only do I get the pure bliss of knowing I won, I also get to don a championship tee? Now you’re talking!

I have come close to one, playing in two championship games, softball and basketball, but I have never won the whole thing. Talk about validation and leaving a legacy behind. Sign me up!

Another important point to consider is if your team stinks you still get to make fun of how awful you are. Although most intramural teams take the Vince Lombardi approach to winning, believe it or not, there are still some teams that are just trying to have a good time.

If it takes table-topping your homerun hitter in the outfield at your softball game to loosen up your teammates on “We only juiced from 1999-2002,” then do it. Odds are, five years from now no one is going to remember the homerun Johnny Biceps socked in the second game of the season anyway, so there’s no need to take the game so seriously.

You’re just as well considering your next wise crack about the third baseman’s rendezvous down three flights of stairs the previous night.

Another nice thing about intramurals is they can be the total co-ed experience. It’s all about college men and women on a team set to cooperate to accomplish a common goal. What a novel idea!

There is definitely something that can be learned from playing together on the field, court or turf. Maybe the sexes can finally begin to understand one another? OK probably not, and that was entirely too serious but at least it’s a nice thought.

So this semester as you collaborate with your friends, fellow club members and floormates to design ISU’s best dodgeball, basketball or softball team, remember that you might be just one player away from assembling the perfect bunch of average Joe’s to achieve the ultimate prize: a championship  tee.