We all know there is a huge difference in the way girls/women and boys/men think and process their worlds, often at the annoyance of the opposite sex. We are constantly at odds with each other trying to bridge the communication gap. The difference between males and females can’t just be the pink and blue blankets they swaddled us in. But is the difference just in our heads?

Science says the difference between boys and girls is actually rooted in differences in our brains. While socialization has a large impact on indoctrinating children, brain development controls those inherently male and female characterizations.

If you have ever babysat boys and girls separately, you quickly see the difference in play is as vast as the difference between Jean Simmons and Gene Simmons. After only babysitting a family of boys for a couple years, I had gotten used to the destruction of their play time, like throwing toy trucks down staircases, getting into fist fights, and trying to ride their dog down the driveway.

While the girls weren’t causing physical damage to themselves, the house, or the dog, the games they played were completely crazy. Playing house is fine, but in the course of one afternoon one of the little girls had risen from poverty, married a rock star, gotten cancer, had a baby in the kitchen, and became a widow.

The whole circle of life literally took two hours to complete. The important thing was that they loved playing out the dramatic scenes. If someone’s “husband” died, it only took fifteen seconds before the other girls killed off their partners as well — pretty brutal for only being seven years old.

Research explains there is a reason for why kids play the way they do and why as adults we are still at odds with one another.

Thanks to our hormones, testosterone and estrogen, we are more likely to communicate, solve problems, and even feel differently about situations we are in.

When a boy is developing in the womb he has as much testosterone as a 25-year-old male, which plays a role in shaping his brain. While that number will drastically drop after birth and until he hits puberty, the testosterone has already altered the male brain’s differences compared to a female.

A study published by Discovery discussed how women are more likely to focus on communicating as a way of connecting to one another where men are more action-based. This is what many researchers and relationship experts are saying is the root of many arguments.

Women, often caring more about the relationship, will not come out directly and say what they want. Men, on the other hand, will be more forward and direct with their statements.

Think about any argument, and how women react compared to men. Women are more likely to show their opposition through questions, while men will be less concerned about emotions and more concerned about being right as the argument goes on.

That is, until someone apologizes. Another huge issue for couples is losing power of the situation. A woman, the study found, will end up apologizing instead of harming the relationship.

A man, on the other hand will be more concerned with what happens after they apologize. They will weigh the options between losing power and what positives could come from apologizing.

Whatever our differences are, biologically or socially based, men and women are opposites in nearly every area. Of course, there are those who fall outside these norms, but the stereotypes branch from somewhere. This probably won’t be what makes you reconsider every fight you have with a boy or girl, but at least you know it’s not that you’re crazy, you’re just programmed that way.

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