|Mother-daughter relationships can be complex|
|Written by Renee Changnon, Daily Vidette Columnist|
|Wednesday, 25 April 2012 15:59|
As the month of May quickly approaches, many of us are reminded that in addition to graduation, blooming flowers, and summer break approaching, Mother’s Day is just around the corner as well. As Apple sends reminders to buy your mom an iPad for the big day, it’s important to look past the material things and embrace or make an effort to improve your relationship with mom first and foremost.
When typing “mother daughter relationship” in the Google search bar, you will quickly comes across nearly four million hits on the topic, with the top ones reading, “Repair Mother-Daughter Relationship,” “Best Friend or Enemy,” and “Secret of Mother-Daughter Relationships,” to name a few.
In a world where girls want a Gilmore Girls relationship full of witty banter with your hip mom, many wonder what an ideal mother-daughter relationship is. While everyone and every relationship is different, one thing is often tied to bringing this relationship together — a trip to the mall.
According to an article on Huffington Post discussing a book on the mother-daughter relationship, even when issues are brewing below the surface, the quick fix becomes a bonding experience in the shopping mall.
While a shopping outing may seem like a great way to remain close, the author stressed that the mother-daughter relationship must strive to separate love and money from an early age.
The mother-daughter relationship is a very special one, but according to the author, it is rather complex with “reports that 90 percent of mothers today believe that mothering daughters is much more ‘loaded’ than mothering sons.”
The article also explained how the line between mother and daughter has begun to blur and allow the question of friend-to-friend or parent-to-child. How can this be bad, you may wonder? The author said, “If we lack a clear hierarchy between parent and child … we undermine the authority of the mother and risk distorting the daughter’s self-image in the process.”
During the past 22 years of my life, my mom and I have gone through many ups and downs in our relationship. We both have our own faults, as she can give critical statements and I often misinterpret them and get overly offended.
While I know the strain between us began the summer before my freshman year at ISU, it’s amazing to me to see how it has changed and evolved in the past four years. While things between us are not perfect, I’m no longer the senior in high school storming out the door to get away from home.
An article on Psych Central explains that the major complaints daughters have are that “moms try to parent them and are overly critical and demanding,” while from the moms’ perspectives, “daughters don’t listen to them, make poor choices, and have no time for them.”
Whether you are best friends with your mom and can tell her absolutely everything or your relationship is somewhat strained, working to improve this relationship can lead to much happier women on both sides.
My mom and I may have our arguments and we don’t always see eye to eye, but at the end of the day she is one of my biggest supporters. I admire the kind of woman she is, not just because she is my mom, but also because she is a working woman, a great wife, and she truly cares about those around her.
When I hear songs like “Best Day” by Taylor Swift, who croons about her mother instead of a boy for a change, I can’t help but tear up and think of my own relationship with my mom.
Mother-daughter relationships may have their ups and downs, but at the end of the day it’s one of the most important and long lasting relationships you will have in your lifetime. Show your mom you love her this Mother’s Day by gifting her flowers, something handmade, or just by telling her you love her.