It has only been a few days and I’m already questioning how much of a fresh start 2020 is going to be for me.

I’ve looked forward to this year for a long time and for many reasons. Now that it is finally here and the magic of the holidays has passed, it just feels like each day is blending together.

Smash Mouth said it best — the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

At this point, I’m just going through the motions hoping that I will get by with minimal effort.

I’m not sure if it’s the fact that it gets dark out at 5 p.m. or if it’s because the idea of entering the real world in a few short months is continually weighing on my brain, but I have lost all motivation and energy to wake up and be productive.

Carpe diem is only possible after about three cups of coffee. Even then, the house needs to be on fire and my final alarm of about 7 a.m. needs to be blaring in my ear for me to even think about getting out of bed.

It never fails that at the start of each new year the local gym will be swarming with warm bodies eager to lose that extra “winter weight” they put on from a few too many cookies over the holidays.

Facebook is flooded with inspirational quotes about becoming the best version of yourself in 2020. “I swear I’m going to leave the toxic people in 2019,” we all tell ourselves as we obsess over each other’s every move through social media.

I envy the people who are able to put ideas on pen and paper and follow through with putting them into action.

Yes, New Year’s resolutions are weird. But I say who cares?

If someone needs a new year to finally make an effort toward a better life for themselves, they should go for it.

Honestly, who doesn’t reflect on their past year and think about how they can be better in the next? I say you’re weird if you don’t.

I’ve done a little self-reflecting the past few weeks as I prepared for the dreaded return to school. More bittersweet than anything considering I am starting my last semester as an undergraduate student.

Nonetheless, I have been contemplating how I can truly leave my mark at a school that has given me all the necessary tools to pursue a career that many won’t actually make it in.

If you’re still reading this, this is the part where I am going to list out my resolutions. So, bear with me.

As it currently resides under the “do it never” section of my daily to-do list, getting a job is obviously one of my biggest goals to accomplish this year.

And that is kind of hard to do when I have literally no idea what path I want to take for my career as I’m straddling print and broadcast.

Many of my goals go well beyond the basic desire for a lifestyle change. While I realize that it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to stop eating out so much, (whether for my bank account’s sake or my health, that is unclear) in this new year I strive to be a yes-man. Or yes-woman in my case.

By that I don’t mean that I am going to just agree with everything that is said to me nor do I anticipate finding myself on crazy adventures like Jim Carrey as Carl Allen, although I wouldn’t be opposed.

Being a yes-woman to me means that I am not going to limit myself to the confines of my own emotion. So much of my time is spent overthinking and worrying about the consequences of my decisions.

This might sound crazy, but this will be the year that I decide to be a little selfish. I have let many years of my life be controlled by this idea that I need to please everyone, leaving myself in the dark.

I’m ready for my next adventure and I think a simple “yes” will lead me there.

As far as my vision for the next year of The Vidette, the future is looking very bright. We have an amazing staff that works tirelessly to produce content all while learning the ropes of the industry and balancing school, work and life as a college kid.

It’s pretty impressive if you ask me.

During my last semester at The Vidette, I hope to be a leader to my peers by sharing my knowledge and experience while learning from each of them through the process.

Of course, earning a few awards wouldn’t be too shabby.

But at the end of the day, the most important thing to me is that we as the student voice of Illinois State University can learn from our past mistakes and tell honest, quality stories while making a few memories of our own along the way.

GRACE BARBIC is the News Editor for The Vidette. She can be contacted at Follow her on Twitter at @gracebarbic

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